No Effort is Wasted

It’s already November of what has been a quiet year for me publishing-wise. Although my flash chapbook Wild Life was published in August, I’ve not added many new credits to my bio. I think, only one online, this trio of micros at Blue Five Notebook in January: Sidereal and two flashes in print in the fall issue of Slice Magazine. I’ve had a couple of acceptances to anthologies and that, I believe is it. And I’ve felt some anxiety over this. I see new issues of magazines come out and I think, I should be in there. What am I doing? I need to send out more work. There is this terrible sense that I’m falling behind.

I sit down and write nearly every day. I keep writing the same images over and over again. I feel as if I’m mulling, sifting, rearranging. I’m moving, but slowly. I feel almost as if I’m rebelling against the fast pace of, well, everything.

But what of the hours I’ve spent? What do I have to show for this work?

Here’s what I believe. No effort is wasted. The bad sentences will lead me to the good sentences. All the mulling will lead to deeper, more resonant work. If I’m not sending the work out to editors, it’s because I know deep down, the work is not there yet. I know the better, stronger story will emerge if I’m only patient, if I keep showing up. There is value in what I’m doing. There is no need to rush.